Philosophy

The Somatica System is driven by 3 Key Attitudes to interpersonal connection as well as 3 Central Realms. The Key Attitudes are Vulnerability (Being Human), Mindfulness and Empathy. The CentralRealms are Embodiment, Sexuality and Relationships. All trainings in the method are based on applying these Attitudes in each of the Realms so that students and clients can experience positive growth and transformation. Below you will find descriptions of the Key Attitudes and Central Realms as well as the Cornerstones of Relationships.

 

3 Key Attitudes

 

Vulnerability (Being Human)

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We are vulnerable with our clients. We bring every ounce of our humanity so people can learn about realhuman relating. As a Somatica practitioner, you will learn to feel and share emotions and erotic energyopenly with your clients. When it feels right, you will also share your foibles, processes of growth andmistakes with your clients to help them take perfectionistic pressure off of themselves. We know we arenot perfect and that we do not have it all together. We know we are in the midst of our own process ofgrowth and change and we are honest with our clients about where we are. We realize that no one(including us) is ever finished with personal growth (on your deathbed, you will not be perfect). Webelieve that pretending that we have it all figured out is the least compassionate way a person cankeep their seat as coach and facilitator. If we pretend we have it figured out, the client believes they willsomeday have it all figured out and will spend their lives feeling less than/like a failure. A vulnerableapproach begins with a coach being honest about not having it all figured out.

 

Mindfulness

 

We practice and teach mindfulness. In order to move ourselves and help others move from habitualpatterns in our lives and relationships to choicefulness, we first need to develop a level ofself-awareness. The foundation of mindfulness is self-awareness. Practicing mindfulness meansdeveloping an internal, curious, and friendly witness inside of ourselves who can see what we are doingwith some distance and perspective. Gaining distance and perspective from a kind and curious, asopposed to a critical, place allows us to collect information about who we are, what we want and howwe behave in times of ease and times of tension, triggering, and stress. It is often in times of triggeringand stress that we engage in habits which end up causing us and the people who we love the most pain.Through mindfulness, we can learn to slow down these moments and make different choices. Instead offollowing old, painful habits, we can make choices that are conducive to love, connection and intimacy.

 

Empathy

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While we cannot save our clients from ever feeling pain or suffering, we can take an empathetic seat.Empathy means that we allow ourselves to feel along with our clients - not just understanding orimagining how they feel, but imagining being them, and actually letting ourselves feel how they feel.4Somatica® Philosophy Copyright © 2024 Danielle Harel and Celeste HirschmanEach of us has experienced joy and suffering. While each person has their own experience of the worldand we cannot fully know what another person feels, we can continue to take their perspective, seeingand honoring their experience and feelings. One of the biggest challenges to empathy is when the wayanother person responds to something is different from our own and then we think, “Why do they feelthat way? They should just get over it.” Even if we cannot understand a person’s response, we can knowthat, if they are having that response, there is something in their history that has led them to it. Weknow this because there is something in our history that has led us to all of our responses. Imagine amovie starting with a person in emotional agony, crying - we have no context and can’t understand why,but we can feel their sadness. This is empathy - eliminating the “why,” or the logic, and feeling with theperson.

 

When we sit with our clients, we look at them as capable human beings who, like us, are in need ofloving support, connection and care. We can support them in honoring what they feel, without validatingmisunderstandings of how the world works. We help our clients grow emotionally by empathizing withthem while helping them sort out wounded responses from what’s true about the world. For example, awounded response is, “No one will ever care about me.” What’s true about the world is that somepeople will care about you and some people won’t. It is important to sort the wounded responsesbecause, if your client is believing their wounded voice without question, they will avoid intimacy asopposed to being able to fully engage.